Social Penetration Theory

Social Penetration Theory refers to the development of social relationship from being a stranger to casual acquaintanceship and eventually to more intimate relationship that have close bond (Altman & Taylor, 1973). In other words, along the relationship, some trust will be built as people gradually reveal themselves to each other over time (Baack, Fogliasso & Harris, 2000). It is said that social penetration theory is sometimes called the ‘onion theory’ of personality, given that over time, ‘layers’ of personality is penetrated (Baack et al, 2000).

‘Layers’ of personality is penetrated when both parties self-disclose themselves. Self-disclose mean a deliberately or voluntarily reveal personal information, thoughts, and feelings to the other party (Greene, Derlega, & Mathews, 2006). As Griffin (2012) puts it, “The voluntary sharing of personal history, preferences, attitudes, feelings, values, secrets, etc., with another person; transparency.” At the beginning of a relationship with a stranger, people will self-disclose themselves by limiting themselves to fairly stereotyped and superficial behaviours (Derlega, Winstead, & Greene, n.d.). Disclosing superficial information take place rapidly but goes slowly when it comes to intimate stage in a relationship (Berkowitz, 1981).

This essay will use a movie called ‘500 Days of Summer’ as a media text. It is a story of a boy, Tom Hansen, meets a girl named Summer Finn. Day 1 is a day where Tom Hansen had a first sight love with Summer who is a new worker in the company (greeting card company). She just moved from Michigan. On day 4, in the elevator, Tom was listening to Smiths’ song through his headset and Summer came in. She heard the song and said she love the Smiths. Tom was amazed over their mutual love for Smiths.

On day 8, they meet again in a party held by the company. Tom initiates a conversation by asking a superficial or peripheral  questions to Summer such as how is she doing, when did she moved and why she moved. Summer does the same thing too by asking Tom how long did he work in the company and did he like working here. Then Tom self-disclosure that he actually studied to be an architect but then it does not work out. So she compliments him, “You’re a perfectly adequate greeting card writer”. Tom further discloses that ‘perfectly adequate Hansen’ was his nickname in college. Summer reciprocate that in college, people called her ‘anal girl’. Tom chokes his drink upon hearing that word. Summer explains that she used to be neat and organized, that is why people called her ‘anal girl’. A sudden awkward environment causes Summer to leaves the scene first.

The above story fit well with the first two observation made by Altman and Taylor: (1) Peripheral items are exchanged more frequently and sooner than private information and (2) Self-disclosure is reciprocal, especially in the early stages of relationship development (Griffin, 2012). Griffin (2012) claimed that social penetration theory establish a ‘law of reciprocity’; a paced and orderly process in which openness in one person lead to openness in the other.

As time passes by, they become closer. They both share their personal thoughts and intimate stories. Tom told Summer his favourite architects and favourite spot. In return, she invited Tom to her place where very few people were invited. There, Summer told him her dreams where she was flying and felt free and safe, but realized, she was alone. She further adds that she never told anyone about that dream. Tom realized this is not something you could just tell to just anyone. It shows that Summer trust him enough that lead her to disclose that dream. According to Berkowitz (1981), what Summer just did in the above scene was that she revealed her intimate aspect of life to Tom, this is called ‘Depth’. The ‘Depth of Penetration’ refer to the extent of disclosure of one’s certain field of life (Griffin, 2012).

Depth is equally important as breadth in the process of social penetration (Griffin, 2012). Breath of penetration refers to the range of aspects in one’s life over which disclosure takes place (Griffin, 2012). In the movie, both parties self-disclosure their worldview, studies, tastes in music, which is example of breath topics.

One day, Summer asked Tom for a breakup. The reason being is that she is no longer happy with the relationship. After that day, Tom was depressed. His performance at work was poor. He keeps on thinking about Summer. Then, over time, he met her at their colleague’s wedding. Though it felt awkward to see her again after they split up, Tom tried to talk to her by pretending like nothing happened. This situation is called ‘Depenetration’; a gradual process of layer-by-layer withdrawal (Griffin, 2012). After they broken up their relationship are no more intimate, they started to avoid each other. In this case, it was Summer who avoid him by leaving the company.

In conclusion, social presentation is the process of developing deeper intimacy with another person through mutual self-disclosure and other forms of vulnerability (Griffin, 2012). This theory explain how one gets from being stranger to casual acquaintance to close, intimate relationship. Along the process of social penetration, both parties will self-disclosure some of the aspect of their life, each parties will try to reciprocate (Law of reciprocity), and if trust is earn, one will tell other party about their more personal information (Depth). Breadth is also important in social penetration process where people will disclose variety areas in their life. However, if one or both parties started to close off part of their life, a process called Depenetration will take place (Griffin, 2012).


References


Baack, D., Fogliasso, C., & Harris, J. (2000). The Personal Impact of Ethical Decisions: A Social Penetration Theory. Journal of Business Ethics 24: 39–49.

Berkowitz, L. (1981). Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, Volume 14. Academic Press, Inc: New York.

Derlega, V.J., Winstead, B.A., & Greene, K. (n.d.). Self-Disclosure and Starting a Close Relationship.

Griffin, E. (2012). A First Look At Communication Theory 8th Edition. New York: McGraw Hill.